True Alpha and False Omega
by LoveCas98
Summary: Join Scott and the gang as they face off against their toughest and most originally named villain yet, the teen wolf pirate, Blackwolfbeard! Join Scott and the gang as they get distracted during this and do other exciting stuff and things! This will be the most thrilling and exciting story you've ever read if you've never read anything before in your life. Crack-fic


TRUE ALPHA AND FALSE OMEGA

A TEEN WOLF ADVENTURE

It was darkness out, twice past midnight. This time of the day for today always made Scott McCall nervous. The moon was covered by the midnight. It could be a full moon tonite, who would ever know? Without the clouds, Scott would always look to the night sky for guidance. But tonite was not the night for that.

"What's going on, Scott?" asked Styles Stilinski, whose name was actually spelled Stiles. "Are you okay being a Teen Wolf?"

All of a sudden Scott came in the room. "I'm doing fine, Stiles." He liked how Stiles worried about him. He liked a lot of things about Stiles. He especially liked how Stiles was his best friend. #friendsforever

"I always like this time we have together. It's so quiet. Maybe," Stiles said, "but soon it's time for all the stuff to happen."

All of a sudden a bird brushed past Scott's cheek. He freaked the hell out because he really doesn't like birds. Then, there in the distance, past all the horizon, there he saw, with his red alpha eyes, what they came for. It was the legendary pirate werewolf, Blackwolfbeard. That's racist.

All of a sudden, Stiles came in the room, slamming the door of the worn, beaten down pirate ship that they stole from the pirate ship museum behind him. I have Blackwolfbeard tied up in the hold, he thought. I should tell Scott that, he thought. "I have Blackwolfbeard tied up in the hold," said Stiles. Then he coughed.

"Thanks, Stiles. You're my best friend." Scott was talking now.

"What about me?" asked Kira?

"Holy crap!" Scott screamed. "Where the hell did you come from!?"

"I've been here the entire time. You're cute," Kira replied. She smiled and spoke at the same time. That took a lot of practice, but she had finally mastered it.

Scott took Kira in her arms. Slowly, their lips approached each other. Scott ran his fingers along both her lips. She shivered with anticipation. She knew what was coming next. She was all about that. It was very exciting for both of them. If you looked close enough, you could tell. Kira stuck out her touch and ran it over Scott's lips. He gently wiped the spit off because he didn't really like that. Scott stared deep into Kira's eyes. They were one soul together. He stared so deeply he could even see those floaty things that always seem to move when you try to look at them. It was loads romantic. Their faces approached each other. Their noses bumped and they giggled. Scott turned his head to the left. So did Kira, so their noses bumped again. Scott could feel the anticipation inside him just like Kira did about 14 or 15 sentences ago. Their lips got closer and closer. He could feel the heat from her breath as her lips opened just a little. Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. It even had a little tongue. Scott was confident he would have wet dreams tonite. All the while, Stiles watched them.

"Arrrr!" said Blackwolfbeard. "Ye best getting to kill me or I'm gonna eat the lot of ya!"

"Shut up, you rat bastard!" screamed Malia, as she slapped him across the face. If Jackson were here he would have liked that.

"Yarrr! I should'a killed you meddling kids when I had the chance!" yelled Blackwolfbeard. "Now you're in for it!"

"Malia! Look out!" Stiles dove across the ship and grabbed Malia out of the way. He landed on top of her and accidentally kneed her in a very sensitive area. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Malia stared deep into Stiles eyes. Their lips moved closer and closer to each other. Their mouths opened just slightly. Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure... This one was definitely in the top 50% of those.

"Thanks, Stiles," Malia said. "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there to save me."

"I'll always be there for you. You know that," Stiles also said.

Malia smiled. She knew this was the boy she was meant to be with this season. And Stiles knew it too. He thought he spent his life pining for Lydia, but he was really pining for Malia. This time, it would be true. And nothing could stand in their way.

When they finally arrived at Derek's loft, Derek was standing there.

"Wait, we're not supposed to be here yet," said Scott.

When they finally arrived at the high school, Lydia was already there.

"Hi, Lydia!" they all said in unison. They had been practicing that for months. It was totes worth it. #totesworthit #teenwolf #scira #stalia #twitter #yolo

"Hi, guys!" Lydia said in her own voice. She usually does funny impressions when she talks, but any true fan would know that. Today was not the day for that. "How are you? Do you want to go fight now?"

"Okay, but Derek needs to be coming with us first so we should be going to his loft and Derek should come with us."

When they finally arrived at Derek's loft, Derek was standing there.

"I've been waiting for you for a very long time," Derek said. He was freaking pissed off! "Why the hell did you guys come here and then immediately leave!? I've been so upset I haven't been able to move from this spot! Also, I may have accidentally glued my feet to the floor out of anger. Did you bring the glue remover."

"Yes, but it's on back order. It'll be a couple weeks before it gets here. I'm just kidding. Here is the glue remover."

"Thank you," Derek replied. He used the glue remover on his feet and it worked. I can't even describe to you the relief he felt. Some things just can't be described with words. Just understand, he was very relieved. If you can't understand that, then the rest of this story isn't going to make any sense to you.

Derek then continued talking to Scott, Stiles, Kira, Malia, Lydia, and anyone else who was there. "It's time to go. Blackwolfbeard the pirate is the most dangerous pirate wolf this side of the Mississippi. He must be stopped. Or else the entire world will fall. But I can't stop him. Only the True Alpha can stop the True Omega. It was the prophecy."

Everyone turned to look at Scott at once. Stiles turned. Kira turned. Malia turned. Lydia turned. Derek turned. Melissa turned. Sherriff Stilinski turned. Deaton turned. Scott turned. Kira turned. Peter turned. Justin Timberlake turned. The twins turned. Allison turned. Isaac turned. Jackson turned. Liam Dunbar turned. Chris Argent turned. By the time this was over everyone was very dizzy. They all fell down right on their butts. Chris Argent let out a little fart. He was very embarrassed. Scott knew it was time. His eyes glew red. He was the only True Alpha left in the world. It was his responsibility to put a stop to all of this once and for all.

Now we're back on the ship. Suddenly, Blackwolfbeard suddenly tranformed into an adult teen wolf! He lunged as quick as he could. Derek fell down and hit his butt. He grabbed the pointy sword and stabbed Blackwolfbeard killing him instantly.

"Do you think he... got the point?" Stiles asked. Everyone laughed. Stiles was the class clown of this ragtag group of misfits. He was always cracking wise at whatever hairy situation the teens would get themselves in. Sometimes it got annoying tho. Not this time! Malia grabbed Stiles' butt and kissed him, but not on the butt. Lydia watched and was a little sad. Will nobody ever look at her? Sometimes Lydia felt invisible to this ragtag group of misfits.

"Hey, Lydia," Scott said. "We're all going to go bowling and then go out to eat snacks afterwards. Do you want to come? I hope you do! It'll be rockin'! #partyallthetime #hashtag

The group went off hand in hand. They would always be the best of friends. Scott and Kira kissed again. It was still so cute. He didn't even mind that she squeaked one out in the middle of it. Once again, the world was safe. Scott had saved the day and proved himself to be the True Alpha. Since the invention of the werewolf, there have been five True Alpha rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. Then they all jumped up and gave each other the best high five the world had ever seen.


End file.
